colours of summer

There is one thing I really want.. It is to be able to live in two cities at the same time. In my home-city, St. Petersburg and here, in Toronto. The problem is, that I still fell like I live more there, than here.
I don't feel like I belong here, at all. And, you know, I'd like to. And I tried to like Toronto, to see its good sides, and sometimes it seemed like everything was fine, but than it just fell apart.
So, here I am, wearing the same clothes, that I bought in summer in St. Petersburg, thinking about same things, but here I just feel that I am not myself most of the time.




And I miss my nails. After I started taking piano lessons in October I had to cut them short, and then I started biting them again.. Hope I would grow them again after Christmas.
It is so weird though, when you miss something inside of you, you start making the outside part look better and better as if it can replace one another.. But you still feel lost, no matter how good you look.